there’s something wrong with me

“I’m the only one. There’s something wrong with me. I must be inadequate in some way. Shanti, shanti, om…”

This is a mantra my teacher Paul Grilley will often recite when someone asks a question or points out something that they perceive is unique to them.

The reason why we all laugh when Paul recites this mantra is because all of us have felt this way at some point in a Yoga class. You might feel like you’re the only one in the room that is wobbly when everyone else seems to be perfectly balanced on one leg. Or you might feel like the only one fidgeting when everyone else seems blissfully relaxed and still. Or you might feel like you’re the only one completely distracted jumping from crazy thought to crazy thought while everyone else seems to be effortlessly tabula rasa.

Yes, we all have a body and life beautifully unique to each and every one of us. There’s nobody like you. You ARE the only one and that is special and beautiful. But you are NOT the only one that feels like there’s something wrong with you and you are inadequate in some way.

I know this for a fact because I feel inadequate all the time. I wish I didn’t, but I do. I’m getting better at catching my crazy thoughts that tell me I am not good enough and that there’s something wrong with me, so I can practice not believing them. It’s a great comfort to remember that I am actually not the only one who worries I am inadequate in some way.