I don’t need a wife

I recently read the book “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle.

Glennon was married to her ex-husband and had three children with him, but now is happily married to a woman named Abby. This is a liberating book to read for us women that have been taught to be and look a certain way so that we fit a particular mold of a woman who can be accepted and loved.

When I was young I didn’t consider that I might ever be attracted to another woman. I didn’t even know that was allowed. When I got older and discovered that some women are attracted to other women, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had just been brainwashed to think I HAD to be attracted to men and maybe I had missed the signs of myself being attracted to other women.

In “Untamed,” Glennon explains why she loves being married to a woman…

“I love how relentlessly we yearn to understand each other and how neither of us quits until we do. I love how we already do understand each other so well, because we are two women trying to free ourselves from the same cages. I love how our life together is one eternal conversation that we put on pause only to sleep.”

When I read this part I couldn’t help but think, “Um… I think I want to be with a woman! I might want a wife!”

But in the last week or two, I had a great conversation with a few of my girlfriends that allowed me to open up about my deep feelings and even have a good cry. They hold space for me and they listen. They receive me as I am. They give me valuable guidance and advice. I don’t know what I would do without girlfriends like them. I love them so much.

This made me notice relationships don’t have to be a one-stop-shop! If I have girlfriends that nourish me like Glennon’s wife does her, I am okay with not having a wife…. at least for now.