sometimes I’m sad

I used to sit in a cubicle eight hours a day. I needed to show up and sit in front of the computer. It didn’t matter what mood I was in, as I long as I did the work.

When I teach Yoga, it does matter what mood I’m in.

To avoid feeling rushed, I would leave extra early so that I could feel calm and relaxed to teach my evening Yin Yoga class.

I would wake up early enough to feel energized and cheerful to teach my morning class.

I want to be in the state that I can actually care to provide for the people that come to class. I want to speak from my heart.

Obviously, there are times when I do not feel particularly relaxed or happy. Sometimes I feel sad.

I remember a few years ago, I had to teach my class that started at 6:15am. I was reeling from a sad event in my life and had been I crying for hours and hours the night before. I didn’t have the time or will to get into an energized and happy mood.

When I got to the studio and sat in front of everybody, as soon as I started to talk, I started to cry. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t help it and it just happened.

Once I apologized and stopped crying, I actually felt relieved and ready to teach. I had meant to hide my emotions so I could teach a lighthearted class, but once the sadness unexpectedly came out, it took the pressure off my shoulders. I felt ready to teach and speak from my heart.

I worried if it was unprofessional. But once class was over, many of the students came over and gave me a hug.

Even though it was a very sad day, I will always remember that class as one of the most touching moments of my life.

Now, when I’m sad, I don’t force myself to be happy. I calmly speak from the sad place in my heart. We are all sad sometimes.